2.5 mi with a few strides, 7:46 pace. Felt like crap...pretty typical but the no "pop" worries me just a bit. I've got friends here from Minnesota, Nebraska, and Kansas and my parents are partiers so we jumped around way too much last night in the Wardle family races. I did beat my Dad in the foot race but my 4 year old nephew kicked my butt in the potatoe sack (pillow case sack) race.
I have no set goals for the marathon tomorrow besides finishing and doing my best that my body has to offer. To be completely honest I've basically sucked at running all year. Which is fine, I had a good year last year and had kind of chalked it up to just a down year. I can accept a crappy year if it is because I'm not putting in the work...but I was putting in the work and still missing the mark. I know my body fairly well and could tell something was just off. I wasn't recovering from workouts, felt winded all the time, and felt constant fatigue. So I finally made a doctors apt with my chief diagnosis of "I'm not running well". haha! My doctor ordered labs and then basically sat me down and was completely blunt and honest with me. Having been to the doctor twice before for my ongoing amenorrhea and told it was just normal and I shouldn't really be concened I definitely dig honesty. My labs weren't perfect...my hormones are all low (shocker!) and my iron levels are not off the charts but lower than they should be for someone whos runs as much as me. But the bottom line is the amenorrhea is probably catching up to me and hence the fatigue and not recovering well from workouts. There is really no more denial or sugar coating it but sometimes facing our realities really kind of freaking sucks. You can only outsmart genetics, and burn the candle at both ends for so long I guess and my body is trying to tell me it’s sick of pushing so hard I think. To be clear I am not even 5"2 and weigh 112 pounds...my BMI is completely normal by any standards. But apparently my body really really likes fat..aren't I lucky.:) Sure I can argue that it's not fair. It's not. But it is what it is. I've dealt with Amenorrhea basically the past 9 years with maybe 2-3 years in there where I had periods (that were not BC induced) and I'm incredibly fortunate that my dexa scan came back pretty close to normal. So there you have it my dear diary entrance of the month...your welcome!
I'm still running the marathon because I'm stubborn, arguably stupid and its tradition. I'll still do my best, but I'm taking the pressure off and I'm completely content with whatever happens. I need to listen to my body and I'm pretty bad at that so hopefully I'm not willing to put myself through as much pain as I did last year. Also for the record I completely understand how serious what I'm dealing with is and how open to criticism sharing this information could be. But I also think it's something that a lot of female runners deal with and don't talk about. So I'm taking a risk and being honest on a public website. I have no idea what I'm thinking!
Good luck tomorrow everyone! I cannot wait to see some familiar faces. UVM #4: Here we go!
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